Jokes dating clean

' After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counselling. Take the blue pill with 2 glasses of water after lunch.

When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another glass of water." Man: "Exactly what's my problem, doc?

"Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?

" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?

" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll just run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. ' For Heaven's sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out!

"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot? "Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself." An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?

However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest.

They are all asked the same question: "When you are in your casket, and friends and family are mourning over you, what would you like to hear them say about you?

" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side." After dying in an accident, three friends go to Heaven for orientation.

On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured. " Doctor: "You're not drinking enough water." The Smiths were shown into the dentist's office, where Mr. " A woman went to a doctors' office and was seen by one of the new doctors.

Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow. Smith made it clear that he didn't want to spend a lot of money. But after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall.

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