Having it in the middle of the floor sprawled out all akimbo like that struck you as unseemly. 04/19/09 "John: Combine ashes with urn." You merge the SACRED URN with the ASHES.Most of the ASH is back in the URN, but it's a total mess. 04/14/09 "John: Examine contents of chest." In here you keep an array of humorous and mystical ARTIFACTS, each one a devastating weapon in the hands of a SKILLED MAGICIAN or a CUNNING PRANKSTER. Among the ARTIFACTS are: TWO (2) FAKE ARMS [CURRENTLY CAPTCHALOGUED IN YOUR SYLLADEX], ONE (1) PAIR OF TRICK HANDCUFFS, ONE (1) STUNT SWORD, ONE (1) MAGICIAN'S HAT, ONE (1) PAIR OF BEAGLE PUSS GLASSES, SEVERAL (~) SMOKE PELLETS, SEVERAL (~) BLOOD CAPSULES, and ONE (1) COPY OF COLONEL SASSACRE'S DAUNTING TEXT OF MAGICAL FRIVOLITY AND PRACTICAL JAPERY, and ONE (1) COPY OF HARRY ANDERSON'S "WISE GUY", BY MIKE CAVENEY. 04/15/09 "John: Examine incoming message." You pull up to your COMPUTER. You decorated your desktop with some rather handsome WALLPAPER which you made yourself. Your desktop is also littered with various PROGRAMMING PROJECT FILES. 04/15/09 "John: Open Pesterchum." Only one of your CHUMS is logged in. 04/15/09 "John: Open message." |PESTERLOG| -- turntech Godhead 04/15/09 "John: Look out window." You see the view of your yard from your window. In a kid's yard, a tree without a tire swing is like a proper gentleman without a monocle. The red flippy-lever thing means you have new mail. 04/15/09 "John: Go outside and check mailbox." You are about to hurry down stairs when you hear a car pull into the driveway. You decide to chill out up here for a while until the dust settles.You will have to use the pellets first in order to access the arms. 04/16/09 "John: Allocate hammer to strife specibus." You check the back of your STRIFE SPECIBUS for the KIND ABSTRATUS you have in mind for it.On one wall hangs a picture of a fella who sure knows how to have a laugh, a man after your own heart.You always thought he looked a lot like Michael Cera.There should be just enough FROSTING on the FAKE ARMS to serve as an adequate adhesive.04/20/09 "John: Attach arms to doll." Hehehehehehehehe.
When your father gives her portrait a wistful glance now and then, you can tell it brings back painful memories. 04/18/09 "John: Examine oversized gift." Contemplating what could be inside this package is sort of exciting, but it makes you a little nervous at the same time. 04/19/09 "John: Captchalogue ashes." First you prop the HARLEQUIN DOLL up on the couch.It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, 2009, is this young man's birthday. 04/13/09 "John: Quickly retrieve arms from MAGIC CHEST." You retrieve your FAKE ARMS from the chest. 04/14/09 "John: Captchalogue smoke pellets." You stow the SMOKE PELLETS on one of your CAPTCHALOGUE CARDS in your SYLLADEX. Another day you marked was supposed to be the arrival date for the highly touted SBURB BETA LAUNCH. 04/16/09 "John: Captchalogue fake arms again." What did you just say?? 04/16/09 "John: Set Pesterchum status to "bully"." You don't think the situation is quite dire enough to go all the way to "RANCOROUS", but you still feel the PESTERCHUM client should reflect your mood change in some way. This definitely makes the CAKE at least 300% more hilarious.Though it was thirteen years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name! 04/13/09 "Enter name." 04/13/09 "Try again." 04/13/09 "Examine room." Your name is JOHN. You still aren't totally sure what that means, but you are starting to get the hang of the vernacular at least. 04/14/09 "John: Equip fake arms." You aren't totally sure if "EQUIP" is a verb copasetic with the abstract behavioral medium in which you dwell, but you give it a try anyway. Their card is underneath the one you just used to captchalogue the SMOKE PELLETS. You're sure COLONEL SASSACRE would know the precise index of elevated hilarity.But this is probably unadvisable, since you'd just make your room lousy with smoke! 04/16/09 "John: Select "HAMMER"." Your STRIFE SPECIBUS has been ALLOCATED with the HAMMERKIND ABSTRATUS.Your SYLLADEX'S FETCH MODUS is currently dictated by the logic of a STACK DATA STRUCTURE. They will come in handy." You first place the HAMMER into your SYLLADEX. You wonder what will happen if you try to take the NAILS? 04/14/09 "John: Take nails." You captchalogue FOUR (4) NAILS into the top card, and push all the ARTIFACTS down a card. But you probably don't want to do that again, unless you want to drop the SMOKE PELLETS and suffer the consequences. The HAMMER has been moved from your CAPTCHALOGUE DECK to your STRIFE DECK.