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Then he can go after a whole and available single woman. He’s the ‘other man’s’ competition, but not really.

The important thing about the married man is he’s probably coping with his limited marriage by doing something else (work, alcohol, substances, whatever consumes and distracts him).

Fundamentally, they are unstable, like three legs on a table.

Something always goes wrong, or at least it should, because triangles usually end up hurting people more than anything else.

Instead defensive stuff happens like distancing from each other or finding another lover to make up for what is not happening in the marriage.

The problem is you can’t get a piece of what you need from one person and another piece from someone else and expect to have a stable and satisfying love-life. What you get instead is fragmentation, conflict, and limited intimacy.

You are engaged in what is commonly thought of as a ‘triangle.’ Triangles are rough on the heart.But for the ‘other man’ this is a painful transition from a illusory relationship with a married woman in a triangle with a married man to a period of being alone again where some serious work can be done on his love-life (if he’s up for it).The work needed is usually in the area of developing a better tolerance for love and intimacy by clearing out whatever fears and blocks the guy has in the way.In some instances he ‘knows’ his wife is cheating on him and looks the other way.In other instances his defenses are so thick he doesn’t read the signs at least consciously.

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